Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.
Yes, I'm a quasi-hipster. I admit it. My only shortcomings are that I do enjoy showers, I don't have oily black hair, I don't wear tight pants, my eyeglasses aren't from Europe, I have serious lack of "retro" shirts from Urban Outfitters, I don't live in Williamsburg, and I have the future possibility of getting a job someday that pays more than $8/hr.
I do, however, love hanging out at coffeehouses. And listening to "underground" music, especially on vinyl. And enjoying one of Milwaukee's finest from time to time at a trendy restaurant. And those wacky fixed-gears entertain me, although I have yet to even ride one. So maybe I'm around 31% hipster. I'm just guessing.
For those of you not in the know, expect a lot of swearing, copious alcoholic consumption, smoking, sex, getting fired from jobs, classical music, drugs, bar-hopping, and just a sprinkle of poetry. You know, just like my life. Bukowski's work is like an Ernest Hemingway novel if he had been a poor skid row alcoholic writer. It's certainly not for everyone, but might be worth a try.
I think you are either a closeted hipster or an undercover hipster...and I can help you build a fixie sometime if you'd like. Though, they can be a little hard on the knees. Single-speed may be a better bet...or even an english 3-speed cruiser. In trend-setting illadelph, those are all the rage.
I guess maybe undercover hipster may be accurate. But it's not that I'm hiding from being a full-fledged hipster, it's that I don't want to be one. Maybe I'm a partial-birth hipster (PBH)? Or a hipster with yuppie inclinations? A dorkster? Or maybe just a yupster, but with lamer clothing and no money/kids?