jake's mom


Next week, my guest will be a girl who works with Denise at the movie theater, and a guy who sold her some pants at Marshall's.

There's one topic that I return to every single year, but no matter how excited I get, the same result always occurs. Just like the flowers coming up in the springtime, the Brewers start out hot and then get cold as a keg of freshly brewed Milwaukee's Best. In honor of this longstanding refusal to give up hope, I will have a public monologue in the spirit of The Denise Show.

Tonight's subject is Denise.. Have you seen her? Has she said anything about me? Let's take another call. Hello?
Holy Crap! The Brewers are undefeated! This is the year! And, their bats sent in 7 runs!

Sheets gave up an early home run, then retired his next 22 batters in a two-hitter Monday afternoon that led the Milwaukee Brewers over the Los Angeles Dodgers 7-1 in their opener in front of 45,341 fans at Miller Park.

Alright, now's the time in the show when I like to give Denise a call and hang up on her.
Wait a minute. The Brewers always start out hot.

That's right kids, get out your markers and calendars. Even after losing 3 games in a row to the Cardinals, the Milwaukee Brewers have a better record than the New York Yankees.

Okay. Now is the part of the show where I look at Denise's picture, and I talk to it. [ Picks up Denise's picture, stares at it ] Why? Why do you push me away when all I want to do is love you?
Sigh. 75-87.
posted by brian at 4:05 PM | Permalink

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