jake's mom

1.17.2007

What, What...the E-mail

A while back we were discussing the barrage of wonderful "forward" e-mails we get. Brian - having the most experience working with middle aged women - seemed to be the king of cute puppies, flash animation, and heart felt stories. But today, I got one that I just couldn't pass up. Enjoy:
DENSEST ELEMENT

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium. " Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W."

Bushcronium' s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

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