jake's mom

2.14.2007

I have huge precipitits and I hope your graduated cylinder won’t disappoint.

Valleywag found the best biotech personal ad ever (reproduced in full, as craigslist has a habit of deleting these things).

Looking for a man to strobilate my parenchyma all night long. - w4m - 19

First things first, I like my men bilaterally symmetrical. You be a dominant allele, I’ll be recessive and we’ll make sweet, sweet heterozygous love. If you’re into role-playing, you can be the big, bad medusa, and I’ll be the naughty little polyp. I have huge precipitits and I hope your graduated cylinder won’t disappoint.
Here’s a little abstract of our encounter:
We want each other so badly, not even Mendel’s Law of Segregation could keep us apart. You move your highly vascularized ganglia back and forth between my spiral cleavage. My epidermis is showing but I don’t care. I hand you a tentacle sheath and you quickly place it on your edematous sea cucumber. You massage my external buds as your zinc finger penetrates my flanking region and you rasp me hard with your radula. When you poke me with your copulatory spicule it hurts so good. I propose that you to move your oral sucker towards my binding site and probe my invagination. Your tube-dwelling anemone throbs as you plunge it into my pelagic depths and we move back and forth like beating cilia.
The hydrostatic pressure proves to be too much and you blow your sticky ends all over my adhesion junction as we collapse into a sessile mass.

Let me know if this made your siphuncle ooze.

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