jake's mom


My New Soup Strainer

Further proof that my awesome moustache is worthwhile.


posted by jp at 3:36 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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For Your Health!

I don't know about you, but I'd select him as my primary care physican. He must have a reasonable solution to the US health care crisis.

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posted by jp at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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"This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!"

In honor of JP waking jake's mom back up, here's something awesome.

The KFC Double Down.

This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce.

Did you catch the part about it not having a bun? Apparently the two deep fried chicken filets stand in to surround the remaining meat, cheese, and sauce. That's right, meat, cheese, and sauce is surrounded by more meat. U! S! A!

But apparently there are worse things out there. 37, to be exact, including Tea Party rallies, the cast of "Jersey Shore," the Texas State Board of Education, and sleeping in a cage with seven hungry weasels.

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posted by brian at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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The Only Band that Mattered...

...other than Europe, of course.

Sound Opinions recently did a classic album dissection of London Calling and it reminded me of how great the music is and how well it has kept over all the years. And I know someone who can sing all of the lyrics to Clampdown because the Indigo Girls covered it.

Check it out, it's worth the thirty minutes.

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posted by jp at 6:44 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Has anyone....

feed jakesmom recently? Or is she dead?
posted by nick at 5:05 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Back in my day...

We didn't need to kegulate how many kegs were needed for a party. We just stocked 1717 up and drank away...until the cops came.

I wonder where the tapper is? Any ideas b?
posted by nick at 8:23 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Dear NBA owners...

...still wondering about the smartest draft philosophy? Well, I'm here to help. Ready? Here you go, it's simple: select quality players that played four years at quality colleges. They'll produce for you. If you gamble on some high-schooler with freakish numbers, be prepared for the possibility that nothing will come of them. (Yes, I do realize that players such as Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James came straight from high school. But for every one of these stars, there are countless Kwame Browns and Jonathan Benders.)

I'm certain that one team has figured this philosophy out--the Phoenix Suns. Look at their last draft. The Suns selected two non-trendy and non-scout beloved players: Wisconsin's Alando Tucker and Maryland's D.J. Strawberry. And what has come of these picks? From early indications, they are already solid and competent pros that are able to help, not hurt, their team.

Thursday, October 25 - Denver v. Phoenix. D.J. Strawberry hit a game winning 3-pointer to sink Allan Iverson and Carmello Anthony's team. Alando Tucker kicked in 12 points in the winning effort.

Sunday, October 21 -Phoenix v. Charlotte.

Tucker and D.J. Strawberry scored all of Phoenix's points during a 12-5 spurt that extended the Suns' margin to 11 at 87-76 with 4:41 to play. Strawberry, the son of former baseball star Darryl Strawberry, contributed a 3-pointer and a pair of free throws. Tucker had also drained a three, along with a 19-footer and layup.

Also of note: All 14 of Tucker's points were scored in the key fourth quarter.

Yes, I do realize that the year is incredibly young. But even at this early juncture, on a team overloaded with All-Stars (Nash, Hill, Stoudemire, Barbosa, etc), these two draft selections have already made solid contributions to their new team. It's time to recognize that being a star throughout four years in college should have more merit than being 18 years old and 6'10".

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posted by brian at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Because white people...

are funny.

I am still not convinced that Rick sings his own songs.
posted by nick at 8:41 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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VERY important news.

This just in from CNN: Giuliani is a flip-flopper. One may only assume that he will now lose the Presidency end up in the NFL.

Also fresh from the wire: Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have created low-density aerogels made from carbon nanotubes, CNTs, that are capable of supporting 8,000 times their own weight. The new material also combines the strength and ultra-light, heat-insulating properties of aerogels with the electrical conductivity of nanotubes. The researchers hope that this advance will one day help prove, once and for all, that LOLcats are hilarious.

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posted by brian at 2:31 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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"So just pipe down and eat your Taco Bell Double-Supremo Burrito and be glad we don't arrest you for posting dirty pictures on your cute little blog."

/* Trying to chase away those darn tumbleweeds */

The always-cheerful Mark Morford has another interesting piece in today's Chronicle.

My friend [, a longtime Oakland public school teacher,] often summarizes for me what he sees, firsthand, every day and every month, year in and year out, in his classroom. He speaks not merely of the sad decline in overall intellectual acumen among students over the years, not merely of the astonishing spread of lazy slackerhood, or the fact that cell phones and iPods and excess TV exposure are, absolutely and without reservation, short-circuiting the minds of the upcoming generations. Of this, he says, there is zero doubt.

Nor does he speak merely of the notion that kids these days are overprotected and wussified and don't spend enough time outdoors and don't get any real exercise and therefore can't, say, identify basic plants, or handle a tool, or build, well, anything at all. Again, these things are a given. Widely reported, tragically ignored, nothing new.

No, my friend takes it all a full step — or rather, leap — further. It is not merely a sad slide. It is not just a general dumbing down. It is far uglier than that.

We are, as far as urban public education is concerned, essentially at rock bottom. We are now at a point where we are essentially churning out ignorant teens who are becoming ignorant adults and society as a whole will pay dearly, very soon, and if you think the hordes of easily terrified, mindless fundamentalist evangelical Christian lemmings have been bad for the soul of this country, just wait.
He cites studies, reports, hard data, from the appalling effects of television on child brain development (i.e.; any TV exposure before 6 years old and your kid's basic cognitive wiring and spatial perceptions are pretty much scrambled for life), to the fact that, because of all the insidious mandatory testing teachers are now forced to incorporate into the curriculum, of the 182 school days in a year, there are 110 when such testing is going on somewhere at Oakland High. As one of his colleagues put it, "It's like weighing a calf twice a day, but never feeding it."

But most of all, he simply observes his students, year to year, noting all the obvious evidence of teens' decreasing abilities when confronted with even the most basic intellectual tasks, from understanding simple history to working through moderately complex ideas to even (in a couple recent examples that particularly distressed him) being able to define the words "agriculture," or even "democracy." Not a single student could do it.

In case you weren't aware, I haven't been posting lately because I've been too busy thrilling the world. Or something like that.

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posted by brian at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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"[T]he CHP reported receiving about 80 phone calls from witnesses or drivers reporting hair or blood on their cars."

Ick. On my train ride yesterday morning, I looked onto HWY 880 and noticed a strange sight--nothing. This sight was particularly disturbing because this road is one of the most gridlocked roads in the country, and due to congestion I've never seen vehicles travel anywhere near the speed limit during this time of day. Upon arriving at my destination, I heard rumors ranging from "there must be extra construction going on" to "I heard there was a nasty accident." If only the reality were that pleasant.

I found out late last night that prior to my train passing the highway, a man had been run over repeatedly on the road during the morning commute.

Authorities say they may have trouble identifying a body found on Interstate 880 before dawn Thursday because it was repeatedly struck by passing cars for about an hour during the morning commute.

The first call to the California Highway Patrol that something was amiss came before 6 a.m. The caller reported a dead dog. Officers arrived at southbound I-880 in Hayward nearly an hour later and made the gruesome discovery.

On the ground was a human ear. The CHP immediately called for the freeway to be closed. It was 6:50 a.m., less than a half hour before sunrise.

The remains of the man were strewn across five lanes and 1,000 feet of highway, CHP Officer Mike Davis said.

My goodness. The story was clarified today when the police were finally able to identify the man.

The man found dead after being hit on Interstate 880 in Hayward was identified today as a hitchhiker who secretly clung to the back of a truck for 20 miles before losing his grip, falling to the freeway and being struck by numerous cars, authorities said.

Whenever I think I've gotten used to Nor.Cal., something like this happens and shocks the hell out of me. What a crazy world.
posted by brian at 4:17 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Dear Giants,

Although you can only hope to be second in my heart (after, of course, the 'Crew), I will now start rooting for your team.

That being said, it would be nice if your team wasn't entirely made up of AARP-ers. Start grooming yourself some young talent. Please.


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posted by brian at 5:50 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Pull of the Current

Great pun, right? MPR's The Current has a slew of new in-studio music. You should probably listen to it, because it is mostly awesome.
The National stop by as do Chicago's The Sea and Cake, who recently put on a great show at High Noon Saloon. The interview leaves something to be desired, but the music is, as usual, very good.

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posted by jp at 3:42 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Argh!!!!!!!!! Today be the 19th of the ninth month. And that means:

Lift the skin up, and put into the bunt the slack of the clews (not too taut), the leech and foot-rope, and body of the sail; being careful not to let it get forward under or hang down abaft. Then haul your bunt well up on the yard, smoothing the skin and bringing it down well abaft, and make fast the bunt gasket round the mast, and the jigger, if there be one, to the tie.

I can't believe that I didn't get down to 826 Valencia today. I hope Captain Rick isn't too diappointed.

In other great news, Erin brings word that NBC has figured out the formula to ratings gold! I'm quite excited. All I can say is that this is even better than if I was "on the beach taking in some cosmic rays."

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posted by brian at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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Only in Georgia.

The best thing I've read all day: Armless Man Delivers Fatal Head-Butt.

Police are investigating the death of a man who collapsed after he was head-butted by an armless man in a fight over a woman.
Police say Redfern, who was born with no right arm and only a short stump for his left arm, kicked Teer and Teer hit Redfern during the fight, which was due to long-standing bad blood over a woman who once dated Teer and now dates Redfern.
Known by the nickname "Rusty," Redfern made a name for himself in the late 1980s for pen and ink drawings he does using his foot.
He was one of six Georgians selected to represent the state at the 1989 International Arts Festival in Washington, D.C., and was commissioned by Georgia's then-Secretary of State Max Cleland for a series of illustrations depicting the state capitol.

[Redfern also] started Redfern Originals, Inc. in 1987, producing Christmas cards, stationery and limited-edition prints.


posted by brian at 7:15 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment

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